Ramsbury FC held their 2023-2024 season awards ceremony in the Royal British Legion, Ramsbury.

The event marked a great season for Ramsbury FC as they had a superb run in both cups and were runner-up in Div 1 and promoted to the Swindon & District Premiership for the 2024-2025 season.

The night was compared by Sean Eviil who is manager, coach and who along with club Captain Chris Roberts put in a real shift in organising, funding and supporting the whole team throughout the season. A huge well done to Sean, Chris and the whole team for having an excellent season!

Awards

• Clubman Award – Jake
• MOTM – Andy
• Managers Player – Skips
• Players Player – Jas
• Top Scorer – Jas (also joint top goal scorer in Div 1)
• Most Improved – Joe
• Social Award Paddy Power Pants – Zac
• Neil Warnock Rant Award – Char
• Adam Sandler Anger Management Award – Adam
• Diversity Award – Nathan
• Season Shirt of Shame Award – jointly awarded to Ash and Jas
• Match Report Myth Award – Jon

It  was by all accounts a great evening, but as with most match reports – I wasn’t there and so will rely on hearsay, Sean and me just making it up!

What I do know is that the team are a great bunch and it is great to see youth combined with experience and that the youth players recognised for their progression.

Finally, a huge thank you to the Royal British Legion for superbly hosting and supporting Ramsbury FC this season for the Club Awards Night and after all home matches; and to Ergo FM, our club sponsors, and to all our families and supporters who have come to watch and support the team throughout the season. Thank you.

Club Sec

A point was just enough to secure promotion and claim second in the league behind Blunsdon FC. A great effort by Ramsbury FC who stuck to the task and did what they needed to do when it mattered!!! Well done boys!

Team: Ash (GK) Andy Adam Chris (C) James Briz Skip Zac Rob Jas Nathan Subs: Dan Harry Jake Oscar

The Battle of Nalgo Sports Centre Field will live long in the memory of Ramsbury FC…and the Native North Wiltshironians….. ok in reality…the boys have forgotten about it already as it was job done and promotion sealed…..but for dramatic effect…..the battle of Nalgo Sports Centre Field will go down in history as a match where there was more red that the massacre at the Battle of Little Bighorn…..and where big Chief Seano dispatched the Spectrum Cowboys with a valiant display of character, stubborness and doing what was needed to be done!

There was Reds….lots of them….but thankfully only the usual one for Ramsbury FC as angry man who does the lonely walk most often…to give him is Ramsbury FC native Wiltshironian indian name….saw red and was dismissed from the battlefield. And although Big Chief Seano …also known as not sure what gaffer is smoking….was as perplexed as angry man who does the lonely walk most often was….the result was Ramsbury played with 10 and not 11….in the battle of Nalgo Sport Centre Field.

But angry man who does the lonely walk the most was not alone as the Spectrum Cowboys also saw Red and had players and the manager of the Spectrum Cowboys banished for their poor behaviour and unfitting conduct towards everything and everyone!

And so it was that Zac….he who can score and throw the furthest ….set up …..he who runs fast like an elk …Jas ….to score and then Skip…..quieter than a teepee at midnight….set up….old man who can still show the young bucks a thing or two….Briz to score the two vital goals to see glory and Ramsbury FC enter the holy land that is the Swindon and District Premiership…..a place that has seemed so near but so distant to all the Ramsbury FC native Wiltshironian indians. And old man who can still show the young bucks a thing or two was recognised for this by getting man of the match!

The Spectrum Cowboys had their moments and scored twice, but they were hollow goals like their leadership and the baying of the Moredon native Swindonian tribe  who were pitch side and hoping they could finally learn to count and realise that they were always going to be third….unless of course the Spectrum Cowboys got their way, which, of course was not what happened as Chris….running slow elk but with a big head….and James…he who keeps shouting in hope it will eventually happen….and…kick the ball into one’s face to make his own nose bleed but who can run very fast…. Adam….and he who can slice a ball and pass it to himself magically Andy…made sure there were no more two goals and stayed firm….in front of …..don’t let them shoot from range as I can’t reach the high ones….Ash…. the final protector of the Ramsbury FC tribe goal!

And so it was that the Battle of Nalgo Sports Centre Field came to an end with Ramsbury FC earning a victorious draw helped by …..I only have my left foot Rob….and….always on hand to help the tribe as best I can Dan…..and….younger looking than a baby in a papoose Jake….and…of course …..run like a hare that may have been blinded by the light Harry….and Oscar….he who can do a shift when needed in or out of goal….who all…one and all….were together as a Ramsbury FC North Wiltshironinan tribe….less angry man who does the lonely walk the most…as he had seen Red….ok….he was still there….but sidelined…..in the infamous wining draw against the Spectrum Cowboys at the battle of the Nalgo Sports Centre Field….to attain glory now and evermore…or at least until September when we start again!

In sum, a Great 2-2 draw that sealed promotion to the Prem and sees Ramsbury FC runners up in Div 1…. AWESOME!

Little Chief who makes lots of things up and gets lots of things wrong whether he is there or not

PS This has been a final pure work of fiction and in no way whatsoever relates to reality!

Ramsbury FC win 5-3 away against Lower Stratton FC in a must win game to keep promotion hopes alive! 

Team: Ash (GK) Jake Andy James Mike Briz Skip Aaron Zac Jas (C) Nathan Subs: Joe, Harry

If the 6-0 win against Poulton on Saturday was a Carlsberg of a game. The game against Lower Stratton can only be described as a cocktail of lunacy as Ramsbury lurched from their sublime passing football to mental cruelty for those watching. It was a weird game, but, importantly, Ramsbury won and claimed all 3 points to go 3rd in the table!.

Lower Stratton are big team with a couple of players that could compete with Shaq ONeill and their plan of punt it or throw it long and get a big head on it worked brilliantly as they did just that and scored with a header inside 2 minutes to go 1-0 up. Not a good start for Ramsbury!

The referee who can only be described as overly eager (the best I could legally come up with) then sin binned Briz for appealing for a penalty within 5 minutes, for I guess dissent?, and I genuinely thought it was going to be one of those crazy grass roots mid week matches that makes you question your love of football.

However, much to my surprise and Lower Stratton’s, Ramsbury settled down and kept calm and with 10 players scored two rapid goals to make it 2-1! The first was a fantastic win in midfield by Skip out to Zac who then crossed for Jas to score to make it 1-1. Jas then turned provider as Aaron won the second ball and got it to Zac and onto Jas who rinsed the left back and passed for Nathan to slot it. It was quality football that was sharp, incisive and punished a very slow Lower Stratton defence!

Briz came back on and a bit of chaos then resumed (not because of Briz!) with erratic passing and Ramsbury going for the spectacular over the practical and when the ref gave a penalty for what looked like a great bit of defending by Andy we were back to the bat shit crazy match position. This was made worse by Ash saving the penalty (great save by the way!) and the ref deciding to it being taken again because Ash was off his line! A joke really as there was no goal line marked out and Ash had stood still…..and of course Lower Stratton converted the penalty to go 2-2!

I was infuriated and got a telling off, but the team kept calm and played some absolute quality football to go 5-2 up and take Lower Stratton to the cleaners!

First, the midfield got a grip and won the second ball convincingly and got the ball up the pitch to Jas who slotted a superb pass to Nathan to score his second to go 3-2. Then Zac got the ball to Aaron who provided a great ball to Jas who was chopped down and who got up to score a deserved penalty to go 4-2. Finally, Nathan, who alongside Jas was just too much for the Lower Stratton defence, passed a great ball for Aaron to tap in and make it 5-2. We were back to being off the lunacy cocktail and having that Carlsberg moment as the half ended 5-2 after a Brilliant last 20 minutes that even the Moredon FC boys down watching the game clapped as it was that good.

The second half: It happened, it was poor, the opposition scored a scrappy goal to make it 5-3 and Ramsbury were disjointed and missed a hatful of chances. I can’t really add much more than that other than Joe replaced Jake who had a really good game in the first half at left back and Harry game on for Mike who also had a great game and did all that was asked of him.

The second half did not represent the best of Ramsbury in the first half and James got a yellow card for kicking the ball away when in reality he was still contesting and it was in play and again the referee was a bit too eager as the game didn’t merit a yellow as both teams were there to play football and there were few bad challenges.

It just didn’t click in the second half and the score ended 5-3 to Ramsbury.

The highlights were without doubt the last 20 minutes of the first half and if you could bottle that Ramsbury would have won this league. Ash had a solid game with great kicking and a superb penalty save and James and Andy were a good pairing with James strong in the air and Andy superb as the sweeper. Jake and Mike were excellent on the flanks and the midfield of Skip, Briz and Aaron when it clicked was awesome with Skip having one of his best games and a contender for Man of the Match. Zac was quiet and frustrated at times but showed flashes of quality and Jas and Nathan were outstanding with 2 goals each and terrified the Lower Stratton defence. The opposition are a really good bunch and gave their all and played with real humour and a great team spirit.

Overall, an important win and 3 points and a final game against Spectrum on Saturday who are a very decent team. This will decide who promotes to the Prem. Ramsbury will need to be at their very best to win and more Carlsberg than lunacy cocktail please!

Jon

Even though I was an honest bystander watching the game, all that has been reported is a work of pure fiction and not to be given any credibility whatsoever!