Team: Oscar (GK) Mikey G Joe Chris (C) James Briz Rob Ali Jas Nathan Max Subs: Zac Dan Ash
Ramsbury FC got 2024 off to a cracking start with a resounding 12-1 home win over FC Abbey Meads Adults. It was a completely one sided game as Ramsbury ran riot. However, hats off to FC Abbey Meads who didn’t give up or resort to unnecessary tactics but who kept pushing forward and did their best against and in-form Ramsbury side.
Ramsbury FC, who have played less games than Stevie Wonder has won eye spy competitions enjoyed a carnival like atmosphere as the decent crowd watching were treated to a real goal fest.
It was all Ramsbury from the outset and it took about as long as Ali spends at training, i.e. no time at all, before Ramsbury had the ball in the net and were eager to add to the 1-0 win. Jas was on fine form and as hungry as a weight watchers at a free buffet as he netted a 5 goal haul and Seano had to sub him off as he was just too much for the Abbey Meads defence to handle.
And Nathan grabbed 2 goals as he looked like the proverbial school bully rinsing the school nerds for their dinner money as it was a genuine scenario of David versus Goliath with Goliath taking no nonsense from some small bloke with a slingshot and dishing out some rough justice. Alongside Nathan was Rob who was having a ball with his left foot (right one is usually redundant) and who grabbed a quality hat trick and who could and should have scored more…..but it was a hat trick nonetheless.
Ali Mair chipped in with a goal that for Ramsbury FC is about as rare as a pink unicorn from Narnia getting a round in in the Legion….in fact…..this season Roberts has more goals than him and usually is Chris goes past the half way line he has a nose bleed and needs a week off work! Chris did indeed get a goal and as always it was a world class effort that the likes of Maldini, Ramos and Vidic could only dream of….well….thats what he tells his girls at bed time stories….goal is a goal eh Chris!!!
The midfield was imperious today and largely because skips was missing….harsh….and only joking Skips…..as Briz who started with Dumbledore at Hogwarts under 10s and who was looking every bit of his 147 years….controlled the play and tried to get a grip of Joe ….you need to pass earlier….greenway and Max….you need to pass earlier or shoot earlier….Derrick on the flanks whilst making sure he was well out of the way of …….James…..lets clear it to row Z Underwood or being steamrolled by Chris…..I am not quick and will clear you out if in the way Roberts….its a dangerous business that CDM role…..especially when you have a bus pass and pension looming!!
It was however great to see Dan the Man Francis on the pitch with his prison break haircut….sorry…I meant prison yard haircut…..as he now looks like he has 20 to life at Wormwood Scrubs for crimes unimaginable…..or is a misjudged looky-likey for myopic Jason Statham fans…..or an extra from Snatch…..or…..the list is endless….great look Dan….but it did scare the kids!
Great to Ash out of goal….well….thats what Seano said Ash….not sure how to take that really….as I think you are ok in goal….but hey ho….you got some playing time and at least you didnt get the shirt of shame or kick the goal post or do anything stupid….and your nose didnt bleed when you went past the halfway line….let Roberts know how you managed that mate!?
Finally, most frustrated players of the day had to be Oscar….I didn’t manage to keep a clean sheet or….Zac I only got 15 minutes playing time and didn’t get a goal when everyone else did…..even the pink unicorn Ali Mair…..WTF!!!! But Zac didnt have get his rage on and kick the post and get the shirt of shame…so Oscar…you get the vote and rightly so as you are a prefectionist and that goal was just not right!!!!
Overall, I saw about 5 minutes of the game and it was all over the place with the game already lost and Ramsbury just having fun and so this report is just light hearted non sense and a work of pure fictions…..however….Ramsbury FC did score 12 and Oscar let in 1 and that is a fact!!!
Great result, great squad, great bunch of blokes and a great 3 points!
Well done lads and lets start getting some commitment to get results in next away matches.
Jon
